I go back to work in just a few days, and WOW did the past twelve weeks fly by. It's been tough at times - certainly didn't feel like "vacation" but wonderful to be able to see him grow right in front of my eyes.
If I'm being completely honest, I feel like a terrible mother some days. I lose my patience, get frustrated, and wonder when in the world things will get easier. Usually, it is the days the napping is of no interest to him, when he screams in the car when I am alone and can do nothing to help him, when he gets up so much during the night. I have to wonder if there is SOMETHING I am just plain doing wrong. We've tried a lot, I can assure you of that. And I know I'm not a failure at this mother thing. But I certain don't have it all figured out...not even a little.
I'll do the full three month update next week, but he is much more smiley these days, which makes it hard to stay "mad" at him when he doesn't want to sleep. He is sitting supported pretty well in the Bumbo. He's our little chunky boy, though it does often drive me crazy when EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON. that asks me how old he is follows my answer with "wow, he's a big boy." Yes, yes he is, bye bye now. In fact, just the other day, I overheard a woman say to her grandson that he was "pudgy" and "probably doesn't need his bottle." I was so sad/annoyed/angry, I should have said something to her. It's people like that that make a mom feel like a failure.
I'm excited to go back to work, but know I will miss Carter (and my time at home with Seth). I'm slightly nervous to get into a routine of work and baby duties, but like everything else, know we'll figure something out! Seth's mom comes next week which will be soooo nice during my first week back as we adjust.
Well, that's all for now! Carter and I are heading to the family cabin this weekend so I'm sure I'll have some posts after that. In the meantime, continue to pray that he will soon fall into a routine of sleeping so that his mommy and daddy can get some rest before he goes to
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7 comments:
Don't get down about having a bad day and feeling like a bad mom. There will be days like that. One thing that I learned by the time the fifth one was born was to add formula to the breast milk and feed that to the baby right before I put her down for the night. If Carter takes the bottle then he should do fine taking it. Formula takes longer to digest than breast milk and leaves babies feeling full longer. I also let my kids cry it out on some nights which put them into a different sleep patern making them sleep longer. The first three months are the most difficult, it gets better and eaiser. Keep up the good work you have a cutie!
Just so you know...we all have moments when we feel like we aren't mothering right. It does get easier and he'll sleep through the night someday....hopefully sooner than later for your sake. You're a great mom. And God knew that you were the perfect mom for Carter---that's why he gave him to you. :)
I agree! Don't get down on yourself. We all have those times when we think that we aren't doing things right. Carter is a handsome healthy little boy that I am sure, if you asked him, is so thankful that YOU are his Mommy!
Hey girl, believe it or not I have been lurking around here for a looooong time :)
I am going to tell you something and I want you to believe it.
Every mom feels this way. You have made it through the first 12 weeks, which is the hardest part! The fact that you have kept him alive is all you need right now. Remember that he wont wake up at night forever. Imagine him standing at the end of the aisle, waiting on his bride...do you think he will still be waking?
You are doing an AWESOME job and we are all here for you when you need advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to complain to.
Keep up the good work!
EVERY mom has days where we are stretched thin. It is on those days that I am so thankful that God's grace is sufficient and that His mercies are new in the morning. You are doing a great job. You have a healthy, happy adorable little boy. He will sleep. I agree with Anna...this is a difficult age but you will get through it. I promise. And about people's comments about his size....been there done that with both size and hair color (having 2 red heads everyone feels the need to point out the fact that 1. they have red hair 2. I don't so 3. where could they have possibly gotten the red hair from? Um, their father perhaps? Just keep your sense of humor. You are a great mom!
Even after your kids are gone, plenty of thoughts creep into your mind about not being a good mom...you do the best you can every day. I did the best I COULD with the knowledge I had and in the circumstances I was given. The order is God, your husband, and your kids...without that clearly defined, yup, you'll have more bad than good days. 2 things....Carter (and you & Seth)is (are)prayed over and well loved (by all).
Oh my goodness, dear Danielle! After reading all the comments, you aren't the only one feeling that way, and we all (yup, still) have days that are like that. Sleep always helps and the general public will continue to be rude at times. Just try to be gracious and then forget about what they said. Carter is a very handsome boy, and we are thankful he is healthy. Having babies and raising kids is the hardest job you will ever do, but watching them grow and suceed and follow the Lord is the BEST! Keep going! We pray all the time for you all. Love you.
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